#001🪄 Living Every Day as if Magic Were Real? #EdgeEsmeralda
The word 'synchronicity' kept popping up.
The Pursuit of Creative Passion
From quitting your job to be a full-time writer, blogger, traveler, performer, personal trainer… there are so many ways to live your passion, and so many ways not to.
I was chatting with my friend Mel about our creative passion, we both have professional careers as designers and creative passions on the side. Mel is an excellent musician, recently delving deeper into visual arts with watercolor painting and creative coding. That conversation led to many inquiries about living a creative life:
How do we balance sustainable income -vs- pure (non-capitalistic, non-opportunist) creative pursuit? What is the deeper meaning we’re trying to convey? What is the shared pattern from all the greatest creatives as they design their lives? What is the message and purpose for us to choose these bizarre, unstructured, yet extremely powerful endeavors?
For some reason, even pursuing my creative projects felt like such an uphill battle, including writing this blog.
I would have this great ‘vision’ of how the thing should come out to be, and that vision overburdens me and burns me out. I would end up resenting ‘my passion.’ Then I would really feel like a failure, because, according to successful people such as Seth Godin:
“Do what you love” is for amateurs. “Love what you do” is the mantra for professionals.”
And when that happens, I shower myself with motivational talks like: “You’re being lazy, you’re avoiding, you’re afraid of doing the hard things. You have to power through!”
For this reason, I became incredibly good at forcing myself to do things I don’t enjoy. They became part of my identity—my profession. It’s such a subtle subversion. I channel this energy all the time, and it has become the way I live. Whatever I’m not good at, I have to figure that out.
But what if you don’t? What if you really lean into your strength?
My therapist tossed me this metaphor: ‘If you were a tiger, should we put you in the safari or make you swim in a river?’
Obviously, a tiger would be unfortunate to be placed in a river. But at the time, I didn’t even know what my safari was and what my river was. I stopped seeing this therapist.
Why Do People Come to Edge Esmeralda?
It’s the end of week two at Edge Esmeralda. I’ve had such an incredible time here—seeing old friends, meeting new ones, exploring creative ideas, and learning new things. It feels like we live on a walkable college campus. You leave your home and just run into familiar faces on the streets, all the time. It’s very sunny here, and it feels very warm.
People are here for various reasons: to explore interests, find co-founders, live a healthy life with others, learn something new, make friends, find love, raise some money, build something important, get lost, find themselves…
I see people with excitement and curiosity, genuine friendliness and openness. I also see people feeling existentially lost—falling into imposter syndrome, feeling confused, overshadowed by the sheer amount of confidence and talent all around. I see people feeling hopeful about the future, and I see people figuring themselves out.
When I came to Edge Esmeralda last year, I was in a very different place. I was figuring myself out—I still am—but I’ve now worked through things I hadn’t yet touched back then.
‘What do I really want and what do I really love?’
I spent the last year (and likely a lot longer before that) deeply asking myself this question—and putting my assumptions into action. I tried many things, and I’m finally tuning myself to feel what my gut tells me is right to do.
My current intention, and way of being, is this: be authentically creative, bring love to the space, and commit to my practice.
Here are some highlights I’d like to share about the past 2 weeks, and the TL;DR is, I believe in magic again. ✨
P.S. To get a comprehensive overview of what’s going on at Edge Esmeralda, check out the Edge City X!
Meme Tarot Reading
My wonderful partner Colton has been working on a new set of collectible cards. We spent part of this year in Bombay Beach with Mars College, and these cards are finally making their way into the world. One thing led to another, and we had the idea to turn these cards into a Tarot deck—something I’ve been championing for a long time. He finally said yes!
We prompted GPT with all the cards, blended in the archetypal stories of Tarot plus a hint of wisdom from the I Ching, and then set up in the park with a blanket, inviting people to join and picnic with us.
The result has been incredible. I had so much fun offering these readings to the Edge Esmeralda community and watching how they interpreted the cards in their own unique ways. We would get caught in conversations for hours—I often had to hold my pee for dear life. 💦
I loved seeing how people connect with these cards. And I find it so fulfilling to see what Colton’s passion and art connect with people in various endearing ways.
We’ve gathered so many new ideas on how to use card-induced gamification to enhance life and deepen connections. If you’re interested in this project, follow his blog here ;)
Vibe Design 101
I’ve been drawing my whole life—probably before I could speak in eloquent sentences—but I was never that good at sharing my work. I built my professional career as a game developer and AR engineer. Creating interactive systems was my bread and butter—art was never a core part of it. I’m now on a journey to change that.
Walking around Edge Esmeralda and seeing my design work pop up in various places has brought great affirmation to me as an artist!✨
I met at least three people (yes, I counted) who told me: “The vibes of these designs made me come to this event.”
They might not realize it, but those little sprinkles of affirmation meant A LOT to me.
I’ve been teaching myself design and branding principles—diving deep into design books, theories, advertisements, and aesthetics. I find design absolutely fascinating: how it connects deeply with our subconscious, with our psyche, and how profoundly it influences how we see the world.
Ever since ChatGPT’s latest image model came out (when X exploded with the Miyazaki filter trend), designing has never been easier. This inspired me to put together a Vibe Design workshop.
Beyond sharing my creative process and exploring design problems with others, I had a great time delving into where exactly the “vibes” in vibe design come from.
I was amazed at how many people were interested in the same topic. Maybe I will even turn this into an actual course 🤔. I also felt amazing just putting it together, having to dive into some aesthetic explorations myself.
You can find the slides on Vibe Design HERE.
Urban Safari with Long Journey 🔮
Folks at Long Journey hosted some awesome workshops, including an ‘Urban Safari’. The rules for the safari were simple:
You give away your phone.
You can’t talk about the past.
You can’t talk about the future.
You go out into town, be present, and try to see the world as it is—follow your instinct, and go on an adventure!
Prior to coming to this event, I stumbled upon a podcast by Cyan Banister and was really amazed and inspired by her life story and perspectives. That planted a great curiosity in me to join in on the Urban Safari.
We started off by going to a toy store. Each of us picked out a bunch of random things: small animals, a bouncy worm, an IQ test, dice, chalk, watercolor pencils, chess boards—whatever felt right. Then we walked around town and distributed these toys. We found lovely strangers to chat with in the park. Someone decided to buy ice cream, others brought wine, and one thing led to another: it turned into a full-on daytime party.
We wandered into a gallery and stared at many surprisingly psychedelic paintings—reminding me of Alex Grey—not something I expected to see in Healdsburg. I went into a bookshop and ran into a friend. She told me a little secret: she was expecting a baby! We burst into joy.
And then we noticed we were standing next to a whole aisle of books about dads.
Suddenly, I had a flash of memory:
I remember going through old personal items back in China. I found a little journal my parents had written for me. It was a journal they kept before I was born. The writings were so innocent—they were just turning 23. The words read something like:
“Dear future baby, we are so excited to see you come into the world. You are just a little fetus now, but we cannot wait to meet you…”
There was so much love in those letters. I remember bursting into tears when I first discovered them — just as I burst into tears again in front of the bookshop.
I’ve decided to become a U.S. citizen recently. Long ago, I also made the decision to leave China. I know what that means: it means I will always have to travel 15 hours to see my family. It means every moment I get to spend with them will be counted down against a timer. It is something so incredibly heart-wrenching for me to have chosen. And there is no one I miss more in this world.
I bought some poster cards and sat in the park, writing letters to my parents. That was the end of my safari. I broke the rule of not thinking of the past, but in that moment, there was nothing else more important for me to do.
Circling back to the whole experience: I felt — as echoed by many others — that I was being given permission to simply be. Not trying to be. Not planning to be. Just… be.
In his book Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Nietzsche had this philosophy that the trajectory of life toward wisdom and enlightenment looks like this:
Child → Camel → Lion → Child again
Many of us on this journey experienced that permission: the permission to be playful, to say “hi” to strangers, to wave at firefighters, to eat ice cream, to draw with chalk on the ground, to lay on the grass, to look silly, to cry, laugh, sing as we wish.
As I travel backward to get in touch with that childlike version of myself, I remember how much I used to believe in magic—in that feeling of wonder.
But I had pushed it away. Because it wasn’t rational, it was too woo. And woo is non-scientific. It is to be laughed at. It’s repelled by the intellectual communities, and I want to be accepted by that community.
But what if magic isn’t about anti-sensemaking or backward intellectualism? What if it’s simply about the feeling of wonder, and joy?
The world is built by creative intentions. And what if we choose to live with the intention of magic—the magic to really see things as they are, and to be people as we are? What if strangers aren’t strangers, but potential new friends? What if we stop calculating calories or opportunistic gains from social exchanges—and simply appreciate each other’s company?
That was my takeaway.
I want to live a life as if magic is real—because as long as we believe it is, it is.
Music Jams at Community Picnic
‘I want to be seen, but I’m afraid to be judged.’
I started freestyling at an impromptu music circle here. And of course, without much practice, it sounded terrible, and I was terrified.
But what I realized is that most people were entertained. Then I realized, it really isn’t about my voice, but inviting everyone to share their voice, be joyful, be silly, and that’s a wonderful feeling.
The music circles spontaneously emerged and became a communal gem, we stayed up until almost nobody else was left in the park, and we sang, we played, many of us are still learning their instruments. It really wasn’t about how ‘good’ you are, it’s really about just having fun.
It’s so rare to have spaces that allow for this kind of playfulness in our modern adult world, where everyone is busy fulfilling ambitions. It is so important to curate spaces that are as accepting and gentle as we can be. And I’m glad that we can create them both here.
This event had very little planning, it all started with people bringing out their instruments — mad respect for folks traveling with trombone and a cello!
And the vibes, Ohh the vibes were good, so good that someone literally bought a piano because of FOMOing from the jam (remember, we’re only here for another 2 weeks 🤣)
Living in a Town Filled with Serendipities…
The vision for the Esmeralda project is that the ‘vibe’ of Edge Esmeralda becomes a permanent place. Devon, the founder of Esmeralda, is in the process of acquiring land and starting a new city development initiative not too far from where Edge Esmeralda is hosted.
Having lived in many communal spaces—both in major cities and in remote villages—I’ve come to deeply appreciate how thoughtful urban design can enable completely different ways of life. Even in busy cities like NYC, places can be intentionally designed to cultivate a higher density of serendipity. Jane Jacobs, without saying the ‘S’ word, expressed this intention many times in her writings.
“The ballet of the good city sidewalk never repeats itself from place to place, and in any one place is always replete with new improvisations.”
— Jane Jacobs, The Death and Life of Great American Cities
I needed a social break the other day and went on a long solo walk. Even as I was in my own head, recording and journaling, I kept having spontaneous encounters—lovely people on their bikes, walking their dogs. I kept waving to old friends and greeting new faces. And then it hit me:
Even when I’m alone here, I don’t feel isolated. It felt like the whole town was interconnected.
And that’s always true! Literally, wherever we go, we are always connected to people. We just forget to see it sometimes. 👀
Thank You!
Thank you for reading Grid Free Minds. Writing this blog is an act of love. See you next week ;)
May you be happy, and peaceful. Don’t forget that:
To be alive is already a miracle
.— Thich Nhat Hanh
"I often had to hold my pee for dear life. 💦" haha you crack me up, dear. beautiful post - magic is real!
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your experience! I commend your effort in pursuit of creative passion. I like the Urban Safari idea, might have to borrow that for an artist date. 💙✨